another year older...

I don't spend much time looking at myself in the mirror these days. I'm so busy with life, work, playing with Sam - that the occasional passing glance to make sure there's no food in my teeth is about the best I get. When I stop for a minute and take a long hard look, I look the same and yet somehow different....

There are lines lurking where once was smoothness...a sign of smiles, and thinking hard, laughing and even the occasional tear.

The "highlights" in my hair are completely natural and "light" but they are not blond....
There are stretch marks worn as battle scars across my belly and thighs....signs of a baby carried and grown.
My hips have widened....a sign of a baby birthed.

Symbols of change. Symbols of strength. Symbols of courage. Symbols of womanhood..... :)

The Sorter

Lately Sam seems to be learning things faster than I notice them. One minute he can't do something, the next he's learned to do that thing plus five others. He never ceases to amaze me.

His favourite thing to do these days is "put things away" - he'll be sitting playing with his blocks, look up, see a laundry basket, crawl over with a few blocks and put them in the basket. Then he will proceed to put more blocks, cars, railroad tracks, whatever is around really into the basket. Or take my kitchen for instance. He likes crawling up to the cupboards, opening doors, pulling out items, putting them back on different shelves. Or putting them in drawers. He loves playing in my drawer full of plastic containers (Tupperware, Ziploc etc) - rearranging the containers and also relocating them to various places. It's so cute to watch. I wish I knew what was going through his head, because it looks like he's trying to sort the items. In fact, this afternoon I was washing out the base of my fridge and I had one of the crisper drawers on the floor. There were various veggies in the crisper, so Sam started moving the veggies around, putting them in the cupboard drawer, in his electrasol tub (yes my son plays with an empty electrasol can!), but eventually he put them back in the crisper. He had even put some toys in the crisper, but then eventually again he took them out and put them elsewhere.

It's so funny.

Typical work week

Life seems to be slipping in to somewhat of a routine....

• Mondays, Sammy and I hang out and play in the early morning, then mid-morning we head to the gym. Sam plays in the childcare room, I work out, then we come home. Lunch, followed by a nap - I try to get a few things done around the house while he naps (or I nap myself) and then he's up again to play. He eats dinner, he plays a bit more, then he goes to bed.
• Tuesday we're up early, he goes to daycare, I go to work. Pick him up around 5, home for dinner, a little play time, and then off to bed.
• Wednesday Sammy and I play in the early morning, then I drop him off at daycare around 10, I go to the gym, come home, shower, have lunch, go to work. Tim picks him up in the evening, feeds him, gets him ready for bed, and I get home in time to help tuck him in.
• Thursday is much the same as Tuesday.
• Friday is much the same as Monday.

I find myself missing the sporadic randomness of being home every day. I miss being able to meet up with a friend at 2 in the afternoon and have "coffee" while our babies sleep in the stroller...or bounce on our knees....or wail while we try to frantically sip our drinks and keep them happy. I miss long afternoons of laying on the floor, playing blocks with Sam or chasing him around the house as he explores on his hands and knees.

I mean we still get to play, but it's not quite the same. Much of it is in snippets, little moments between dinner and bed when his stomach is full and he can happily play until sleepy time hits. I find my Mondays and Fridays aren't as laid back because there are errands to run, play dates to attend (which I thoroughly enjoy!), food to be made...there's not as much down time as before I went back to work.

Sam is adjusting well - he still has his clingy moments, moments where he's being particular and only wants mommy or only wants daddy, moments where he refuses to eat anything. But he doesn't cry when he gets dropped off at daycare anymore. He actually knows Rachel, and smiles when he sees her, and points at all the toys as if to say "look mom, those are the cars I play with."

I think I'm having the hard time adjusting. I miss him. Work is good, but on moments when I'm not busy, I find myself wondering how Sam is, what he is up to....and wishing I was with him. What a difference a year can make. :)

Cute things

Cute things Sam has done in the past few days:

1. Thursday morning Sam wasn't quite himself and seemed a bit warm, so I took his temperature. Thankfully, he didn't have a fever, just the high end of normal. Anyway, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and the thermometer and left him to play for a minute or two. At first he was talking and playing and then he went silent. At this point, I had meandered into my room to get dressed for work. He was sitting just out of view, quietly doing something, and I could hear a faint smacking sound...like he was eating something. I walked into the room, and found him sitting with the tub of vaseline in his lap, the lid off, and BOTH hands covered in vaseline, along with it smeared all over his face...GAH! Needless to say, I won't be making THAT mistake again.

2. On Thursday we get our weekly vegetable basket from our CSA. I was getting dinner ready and the full basket of veggies was sitting on the floor waiting to be put away. Sam crawled into the room, right up to the basket, reached in and pulled out an apple. He looked up at me and then proceeded to try and take a big bite out of it. His teeth weren't quite strong enough to break through the skin, so I peeled it and he proceeded to eat the whole thing!!

3. Sam discovered Tim's djembe (African drum) which is sitting at the edge of the couch at the top of the stairs. Regularly he will crawl over to it, pull himself up on the rail, and then proceed to bang out a tune on the drum! He's actually better at it than I am! :)

What a guy