Recent Shenanigans by Sam

AKA Funny things Sam does these days....

• When he doesn't want to nap: he stands up in his crib, talks to himself & his stuffed animals, bangs on the walls, pulls on the window blind, waves at you if you peek in through the TINY crack in the door, throws his stuffed animals out of the crib (he can get some pretty good distance!)
• These days Sam is crawling around, but he seems to get tired of crawling fairly quickly, and when he does, he stops, flops his belly down (but he's still up on his arms...), throws his head back and "howls" :P
• He is extremely interested in both cats, but especially Edwin because Ed doesn't want anything to do with Sam. Anytime Sam sees Ed, he'll giggle and take off after him in hopes of catching him...
• He waves at the cats any time they enter the room he's in
• These days Sam is calling any male that is special in his life "Papa" (so Tim, Grandpa B, Grampy R, Uncle T)
• Any time that I ask Sam if he wants to nurse, he starts to giggle this maniacal little laugh (quite funny actually!)
• Sam's current favorite thing to do is crawl into the bathroom, pull himself up on the tub, and push anything that is on the side of the tub into the tub. Sometimes he'll even pick things up off the floor (i.e. a washcloth) and throw them into the tub
• Another favorite thing to do is go into the bathroom, close the door, play with the door stop and keep his feet up against the door so mommy and/or daddy can't get in...

He's so much fun. :P

Da Flu

So Sam had his first bout of stomach flu over the weekend. It started on Friday morning, Sam seemed more cuddly than usual, and then he had two bouts of diarrhea. Nasty stuff. In the afternoon, I put Sam down for a nap and was in the process of finishing up packing for the weekend. We were getting ready to head down to Belleville to visit all of Tim's extended family to celebrate his grandma's (we call her Babi) 80thBirthday. We were also going to celebrate Sam's first birthday on the Sunday. Anyway, about 30 minutes after Sam went down for his nap, he started fussing. Which is odd, because he usually sleeps at least an hour in the afternoon. So I went in to check on him. I don't know what it was, whether he looked a little lethargic, or what, but I stroked his brow and said "You don't feel well do you?"...and moments after I said that, Sam vomited everywhere. Literally. It was in his crib, down the sides of the crib, on the carpet, in his little toy basket...what a mess.

Needless to say, we did not go down to Belleville. We did not get to do any celebrating. But we did get to share lots of cuddles over the next 4 days while he was sick. It's the only time he ever cuddles. And the exciting part is Grandpa and Grandma will be coming down to visit this weekend, bringing with them the extremely cool Sofie la Giraffe cake that they got specially made for Sam. Can't wait!

It wasn't so bad...

My first week back to work is over. Sam survived daycare, in fact on Thursday Rachel (his daycare worker) said that he seemed to be getting used to the place. He was even exploring and was being quite talkative. Yay Sam! I am so proud of you! :) He came home with several adorable crafts, my favorite of which was a penguin that Rachel helped him make and for which the wings were traced cut-outs of his hands. It is so cute!

All in all, Sam did fairly well. He would cry when I dropped him off, but Rachel said he never cried long, and when I went to pick him up, he was always happy to see me. I think I was the one who had the harder time. When I was busy, I was ok. But any time I had a lull in clients, or when someone asked about Sam, I would miss him all over again. I found myself thinking about him, hoping he was ok, wondering what he was doing...it was hard.

Every evening when I picked Sam up from daycare, he would look at me, smile and say so sweetly "mama". I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful boy. :)

Good last day

Sam and I had a wonderful day today. We played, we ate, I chased him, he chased me, more eating, more playing, more eating, throwing food on the floor, more playing with mom and dad....a bath before bed, nursing, a story, and then he went to bed. It was a good day. I only cried a very little.

Ironically, I realized this afternoon that I'm actually going back to work a week early....I actually have one week left of maternity leave (this current week I could still be off!) because I worked right up to my due date. Sigh. Such is life, I will just have to deal with the fact that I am going back to work. Life is still good, I am blessed with a wonderful, fantastic son and a great husband. I have wonderful family and friends. And I am only going back to work three days a week. I need to just keep reminding myself of these facts. And I'll be ok.

And besides, I had a wonderful day to "send me off" back into the working world. I loved every minute of it.

A day to go...

Tomorrow is my last day of maternity leave....on Tuesday I go back to work and we start a whole new routine in life. I feel like I want to hold onto every precious moment with Sam, snuggle him in (although he's still not a snuggler!), smell his head, ruffle his hair, chase him around the room as he slowly crawls away trying to escape, wrestling him to the ground...it makes me smile just thinking about all the fun we have had in the last year.

It's funny how I relish every moment with Sam and yet also enjoy every moment I have to myself. The rare "me time" throughout the day is quite enjoyable. I'm hoping that being at work will mimic that kind of experience, that I will enjoy the "adult time" and getting to do something different during the day.....to be honest though, I have a feeling I'm just going to be thinking about him the whole time. Transition is hard...I know it will get easier, but right now, with one day left, my heart is fighting it with every ounce I've got.

I am supposed to be cleaning up from dinner, while my husband changes Sam's diaper. I just finished wiping up the floor around where Sam eats (man! I can't believe how much food he can get on the floor in one feeding - it would supply a small nation...) and now I'm supposed to be loading the dishwasher. But the sounds of Sam struggling with diaper change and Tim doing all that he can to keep him occupied has distracted me.

He's making funny noises at Sam through a paper towel roll - one of Sam's favorite things during diaper change - which is really funny to listen to from another room. Got me thinking about the crazy things we do as parents to amuse our children. Just a couple hours ago I was dancing a crazy dance with Sam in my arms to some fun song that came on the stereo. And I looked out the window, just to see a woman standing on the sidewalk, watching me, obviously amused. :) I guess we get to be kids all over again.

Tim has just come out of the bedroom and said "What are you doing?" (aka you're supposed to be cleaning up! That was the deal...). Better get back to work.

One more day

Tomorrow is Sam's first day at daycare. It's only half a day, but to me, it's the end of a year that's been really special. I am afraid of how our lives will change. I am afraid I won't have enough time to spend with Sam. I am afraid I won't have enough time to spend with Tim. I am afraid my own time will suffer. I am afraid that I won't be able to keep cooking the way I want to - that we will slip back into patterns of quick, easy, less nutritious meals. I am afraid I won't have time to get to the gym, to go running, to exercise. I am afraid I will take on too much and have a break down. Fail. Drop the ball.

How do women do it? Balancing a career, and their families, and their own interests. I am approaching this hurdle with trepidation. I'm going to eat some chocolate.

Working woman...

I go back to work in just over a week. This week Sam will be starting half days at his new daycare on Tuesday and Thursday in anticipation of my schedule that starts the following week, Tues/Wed/Thurs. I am not complaining, because I recognize how lucky I am to only have to go back three days a week. But I can't help this aching feeling I have in my heart. I just don't want to have to leave him with someone else, I don't want to miss a single moment of his day. I love just sitting on the floor, playing with him, watching him discover something new and exciting about one of his toys. The look of wonder on his face; his completely trusting, innocent eyes; the way he looks at you with love - no advancement in a career can compare to any of these.

I remember a conversation I had with my husband about two years ago, around this time I started reading about pregnancy and having children. And I remember very distinctly telling Tim that I didn't want to sacrifice my career for a child. That I would not be a stay at home mom. I remember being very concerned, that I didn't want to be pressured to stay at home with a child when I was ready to go back to work (not that Tim would EVER do that kind of thing, it was just an irrational fear). I look back at that discussion, and at those early fears, and laugh. If I could go back and make myself eat those words, I definitely would.

Beautiful Winter Afternoon

Cross country skiing really is an under appreciated sport. It's great exercise, it works all the muscles in the body, and even at a moderate pace, you can keep up a conversation with your companion. Or the nice people you meet on the trail. That say hello to you and comment on the baby on your husband's back. Yes, you read that right. We went cross country skiing this afternoon and Tim carried Sam the whole time on his back in our moby wrap. We used the "hike hold" (this link is to another blog that has the directions on how to apply the wrap for this hold. For some reason the Moby website doesn't list this hold anymore...). It was so nice to get outside, to have fun while exercising (I checked a calorie calculator, and for 1 hour 20 minutes of moderate skiing, I burned ~650 calories!) and to spend some time with my two favorite guys. We even took some video, which my husband put together to document the occasion. Enjoy!

Get out and enjoy the outdoors! It's free, it's environmentally-friendly and it's good for you! :)

Christmas Hiatus

The past few weeks have zoomed by in a blur. The Christmas season with an infant is an entirely different experience. Besides keeping up with the everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, running errands etc, Christmas adds to those responsibilities: Christmas shopping, gift wrapping, baking (because who can resist a yummy shortbread cookie!?) and all of the other activities associated with Christmas. It was a challenging experience. Here are some of the things I learned this year:

1. You can't do everything, so prioritize. Usually I have the Christmas tree up as soon as December rolls around, this year our tree went up on the 23rd (it was a constant thought in my mind, but not a high priority). I also only put up a few select decorations to minimize set-up and clean up time.

2. Most of the gifts we gave this year came in gift bags - they're just a faster form of wrapping, and more environmentally friendly!

3. If you're inclined to bake, make cookies that require simple ingredients (i.e. butter, flour, eggs) and make as much ahead of time and freeze them. Give cookies in a reusable tin or Christmas container to help minimize the plastic going into landfills.

4. Space out travel time. We wanted to be able to see all of our family over the holidays, but people are spread across the province. So we visited one side of the family the week before Christmas, and one family over the actual holiday.

5. Make time for yourself as a family. Tim and I have never had more than a long weekend at home, we are typically traveling for our holidays to one family's place or another. This year we made a conscious effort to have a good chunk of time as a family, just the three of us, in our own home. It was great. We hung out as a family, cleaned, put away most of the Christmas stuff, and just relaxed. We even were able to host some of our siblings here on the weekend! It was great. :)

6. If you're going to take family Christmas photos, book them early. I called our photo centre of choice (Zehrs!) back in early November and they were almost already completely booked up until Christmas. Yikes!

7. This is your child's first Christmas. If they are under a year old, they may take little or no interest in the Christmas festivities. Enjoy whatever they take interest in, even if it's just staring at the tree lights.

8. Be prepared for anything, especially if you are spending Christmas at someone else's home. Don't forget to bring all of the basics you would need if you were at home (i.e. infant tylenol, a thermometer) because you never know what may come up. Our son was extremely ill for most of the Christmas holidays, in fact we spent 6 hours in the ER on Christmas day. Definitely not what we had envisioned his first Christmas would be like, but definitely a memorable one!

9. Accept that you can't do everything. As I said in #1, you need to prioritize. Some things I wanted to bake didn't get baked, a lot of days I didn't get any formal exercise (other than playing with Sam), I really didn't get to make any entries on this blog, although I often thought of it. We are all human and can't beat ourselves up for what doesn't get done. The beauty of the season is that it borders on a new year, and what a great time for new starts. :)

Hope you all had a wonderful, healthy, safe holiday season.