Visit to the midwife

This week I will be making my second visit to the midwife (working on week 15 this week!) and I'm hoping that it will go more smoothly than the last visit.

I was a little nervous about my first visit, didn't know what to expect, how long it would take, if she'd be nice....all the things you wonder about when meeting a new health care provider. Anyway, at the orientation session we had gone to a few weeks previous, they had mentioned that when you arrived you should weigh yourself and test your urine. Me being the newbie, these facts TOTALLY slipped my mind. So when I got into the room and sat down, the first thing she asked me was had I weighed myself this morning and tested my urine. My face must have betrayed my confusion, and honestly what was going through my head when she asked was "does she really think I have a urine test at my house!?!?". I proceeded to say "Was I supposed to pick one up and bring it home with me last time I was in?" to which she responded "No, when you arrive you are supposed to weigh yourself and grab one of the test strips by the door and go use it in the bathroom." I felt like a dope.

She then kindly showed me where the weight scale and test strips were and asked me to do those two things and then come back to her office. The weight scale was easy enough and I was able to get that figured out, not so much with the test strip apparently. They came in this little bottle with all sorts of colours on the side that corresponded with colours on the strip and they'd tell you if your urine was normal. I took strip and bottle to the bathroom like I was told and proceeded to pee on the strip. Then I started trying to compare the strip to the bottle, but it was kind've dark in the stall. So.....I finished the job, wiped, and went out to the sink area to take a better look. Of course there were two other women in the bathroom, neither of whom were pregnant or confused. I continued to compare the strip to the bottle, and then a little voice in my head said "are you sure you weren't supposed to show her the strip?" I couldn't recall her saying she wanted to see it, but what if she did? I proceeded to gingerly pry a paper towel from the dispenser without touching anything, and then put my pee strip down on the towel on the counter. I washed my hands, and then picked up the bottle and the strip now wrapped in a paper towel and carried it back to the office. I felt a little sheepish as I walked up to the secretary and asked "Do you know if she wants to see this?" to which the receptionist replied with a slightly amused (maybe a bit grossed out too!) expression "sure". I walked back into the midwife's office with my little strip, still feeling a little sheepish and asked "did you want to see this?" I swear she thought I was the most incompetent person in the world. She told me that I just had to compare it to the colours on the bottle, and as long as everything was normal I could just dispose of it.

It's a good thing peeing on coloured strips doesn't determine a person's competence for parenthood.