CIO

Ever hear of the "Cry It Out" philosophy? The basic idea is that if a child refuses to go to sleep, and just cries, that you need to let them cry it out, and then they'll put themselves to sleep. I've never been a subscriber to this idea, I feel like if my son is crying, he needs something and I should try and address that need.

However, in the last week, every time we put Sam down for a nap and/or bed, he screams. Not just cries, but screams. Works himself up into a frenzy and will cry/scream for prolonged periods of time unless you pick him up. Predominately this behaviour is only exhibited in his room, sometimes even as we approach his bedroom, or more often the crib, he starts to cry in your arms. It's very challenging. And I've been picking him up and comforting him, because it feels right and because my gut tells me it's the right thing to do. But this behaviour is continuing, and may actually be getting worse. Yesterday he didn't nap at all, and REALLY cried/screamed for at least 30 minutes before bed last night.

I was talking to someone about this issue last Wednesday, and they said that around 8 months a child begins to understand the concept of cause-and-effect. That their actions have consequences. So if he cries/makes a fuss, he will get attention OR won't have to go down for a nap. I've been pondering this idea all weekend, and even though Sam is only 7 1/2 months AND is teething, I think he's manipulating us. Every time a toy is taken away from him (i.e. his spoon because it needs to be cleaned), he'll scream. Every time he's put down from being carried, he'll scream. Every time he's put down for a nap, even if he's been rubbing his eyes and yawning, he'll scream. So now I am faced with a dilemma. I don't want to ignore him if something is wrong, but I also don't want to reinforce bad behaviour.

Last night when we put him down for the night, like I said, he screamed for at least 30 minutes. I went in and soothed him periodically, but didn't take him out of the room. Eventually I just had to leave him and let him cry. It was really hard. The same thing for this morning's nap. As far as I can tell, nothing is wrong. But it's really hard to just let him cry.